Larry looks Back


"Man does not stand alone nor is man entirely self made. There are various factors which contribute to a person being who they are and what they become. These factors are contributed by individuals or groups of individuals who become pivotal to a persons life"



My life has been an incredible voyage of exploration and discovery which, at times, has weathered some deep troughs and fantastic peaks or as I once described it .......

A Journey from the Jaws of Hell to the Top of God's Holy Hill 

I was born, circa 1953, into a family of Painters & Decorators and grew up in a predominately working class area of Dublin.
My Father, his two brothers and his paternal uncle were "in the trade" with my paternal Grandfather holding kingpin position as the General Secretary of the Painters Trade Union, a giant step up from his humble beginnings.
I attended several "good Catholic" schools where you got ...... "a good education education beaten into you". Should you ever watch the classic British film "Kes" you will gain an insight into my school years and how not to educate children.
The diktat of the time was that we were working class and there we should stay. Not for us, the opportunity of Further Education and College/University was out of the question.
When the time came for me to enter the world of "work" I expressed an interest in the family trade, however my Father, whilst offering no alternatives, advised me to "look for something else". This was no easy task in a culture of what I was to later describe as ......
Institutionalized Thinking and Parochial Management.
I eventually decided on a career in the Military as a way forward, probably the result of being regaled as a child with stories of the exploits of both my Great Grandfathers with the British Army during WW1, one in what was Mesopotamia and the the other in Gallipoli.
On my return to the U.K. some years later, and somewhat disillusioned with Army life I decided to re-evaluate my life choice which led me to the career paths of  Emergency Medical Technician, Firefighter, Proprietor of a Leisure and Travel Company, Fitness Professional and Fitness Manager for a multi national Health and Fitness Organisation.
I have since studied Behavioural Pyschology at University and gained further accreditation in Neuro Linguistic Programming, Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Health and Fitness.
When I look back over the past 40 years I realise just how incredible my journey has been, not always easy, hence the deep troughs, none the less a journey worth making and when I sit in quiet reflection ...... I feel a deep sense of gratitude for what has been achieved and most of all to my Father, now departed, who encouraged me to "look for something else"and who supported me however and whenever he could. 
Quite an achievement for a 15 year old lad who left school with not much more than an elementary education and armed with nothing more than a huge sense of ...... curiosity.

Writers Note: My friend Brendan Harding commented "Curiosity is the largest ship we will ever sail"



Finding your Wings

What's NLP? ...... asks my son John , as we sit relaxing by the river on a hot summer day.
NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming, I reply. Oh! .... says he thoughtfully, thats quite a mouthful but it's just gone .... SWOOSH .... right over my head. Well, says I, that may be so, though it is certainly heading in the right direction, let me explain by breaking it down into smaller chunks.

Neuro has to do with the workings of our brain and our thoughts, emotions and memories.

Linguistic is about the language we use in order to communicate our thoughts and this can be both verbally and physically eg. body language.

Programming refers to the habitual modes of thinking and behaviour we engage in daily, in other words, our habits. We do them so often that they become programmed into our brain and they can be either resourceful and have positive results or unresourceful and have negative results.
NLP recognizes that all behaviour has a structure and ...... that structure can be taught, learned, modelled and changed eg. unresourceful behaviours can be replaced with resourceful behaviours.

So you see John, it isn't going over your head at all ...... it's in there all the time.
Thanks, he replies, I'll have to think about that ...... and so we sit in peaceful silence watching the Sun sparkle on the lazy river as the Swans glide majestically to and fro until John asks ...... 

What are the principles of NLP and what can NLP do for me?

Noticing that he is now curious, I answer ...... Allow me to share with you some of ......

The Presuppositions of NLP

• We are always communicating in all 5 of our major senses eg. through sight, sound, feeling, taste and smell.
• The meaning of our communication is the response we get.
• We create our own reality
• The map is not the territory as people respond to their map of reality not reality itself 
• We all have within us all the resources nescessary to achieve whatever we want in life
• There is no such thing as failure, only feedback
• Every behaviour is useful in some context
• People always make the best choice available to them at the time.
• People who are most flexible in an interaction will have most success
• NLP has very powerful tools which allow us to access our own and each others representational systems by going beyond the surface structure of communication and accessing the deep structure of our individual realities. This can be empowering in all areas of our lives such as our career, relationships, health and general wellbeing by allowing us to achieve positive results and banish our limiting beliefs...... Which reminds me of the story about ......
  

The Chicken and the Eagle

There was a chicken farmer who was a very keen rock climber. One day, climbing a particularly challenging rock face, he came upon a large ledge. On the ledge was a large nest and in the large nest were three large eggs ...... Eagle eggs.
He knew it was distinctly unecological and undoubtedly illegal, but temptation got the better of him and he discreetly put one of the eggs in his rucksack, checking first to make sure the mother eagle wasn't around. Then he continued his climb, drove back to his farm and put the eagle egg in the henhouse.
That night the mother hen sat on the huge egg, the proudest chicken you ever saw, and the cock seemed pretty pleased with himself too.
In the fullness of time the egg hatched and the baby eagle emerged. It looked all around and saw the mother hen. "Mama" it squawked.
And so the eagle grew up with its brother and sister chicks. It learned to do all the things that chickens do ...... clucking and cackling, scratching in the dirt for worms, flapping its wings furiously and flying a few feet into the air before crashing to earth in a pile if dust and feathers and believing above all things that it was totally and absolutely a chicken.
One day, late in its life, the eagle-who-thought-he- was-a-chicken happened to look up at the sky. High overhead, soaring majestically on the thermal currents, flying effortlessly with scarcely a beat of its powerful golden wings was ...... an Eagle.
"What's that?" said the old eagle in awe to his farmyard neighbour. "Its magnificient, so much power and grace, poetry in motion"
"Thats an eagle" said the chicken "Thats the King of the Birds, its a bird of the air, but we're only chickens, we're birds of the earth"
And so it was that the eagle lived and died a chicken ...... because thar's all he thought he was.
                                                                                                     The Magic of Metaphor by Nick Owen

"So I'm a chicken, is that what you're saying?" asks John playfully.
"You are whatever you want to be", I reply ...... Whatever you WANT to be.

Writers note: John now lives in the USA developing his career as an Actor

You've got it!

It is a crisp autumnal morning in early October, with the Sun ascending in a clear blue sky and though emitting mininal heat,  it remains a cheerily bright and pleasant day.

 I sit "al fresco" sipping my steaming cafe latte, at one of the many coffee establishments that have sprung up in the London suburban commuter belt that is leafy Surrey, quietly observing the hustle and bustle of humanity about their daily business, whilst engaging in my favourite pass time ...... People Watching.

Being always curious,  I note peoples facial expressions and body language as they pass by, wondering what kind of day lies ahead for them, and as I continue to watch, I become aware of a resplendent figure dressed in his smart city business suit, very much the "man about town", striding purposefully in my direction .... my friend Tom.

We exchange the usual pleasantries and he joins me, having acquired himself a coffee , and as he slumps heavily into the available chair I notice a slight tumnescence about his face which makes me even .... more curious .

"How's life?" I ask as he settles himself back in the chair,  "pretty hectic" he answers.... "you know, sometimes I don't know whether I'm coming or going". 

"It seems" he continues "that life is a constant treadmill as no matter how hard I try
 I don't seem to be any further forward, I seem to be like a duck swimming upstream, paddling frantically to remain in the same place". "The frustrating thing is that I have lots of great ideas, that I know will work, however they either remain as ideas to be used in the distant future or they amount to nothing, mainly because I don't know how to get started".

Have you ever thought about Coaching? .... I ask and after a short consideration Tom replies,
"Why would I want a coach, they are only for athletes and the like, aren't they?"

Not nescessarily, I reply and as you relax,  drinking your coffee,  I will explain to you some the uses of coaching.

Coaching is about

• Discovery
• Awareness
• Choice
• A better quality of life
• More fulfillment in all our interactions
• Better life balance
• A different process for accomplishing our desires

The uses of Coaching

What Coaching is not

Coaching is not therapy, as therapy involves providing a treatment, a remedy and/or a cure for a perceived "problem" whereas coaching sees you as creative, resourceful and complete.

"Well then, how will coaching help me?" asks Tom, to which I reply .... Let me share with you the story of ....

The Lost Horse

A horse with no identifying marks wandered into a farmyard. The farmer's young son said that he'd take responsibility for returning the horse to its owner.
The boy mounted the horse, urged it towards the road and let it chose its own direction.
The boy only intervened when the horse stopped to graze or wandered off the lanes and into a field. Otherwise, he just sat on the horse.
When the horse finally ambled into a farm several miles away, the farmer said, "How did you know to bring it here, how did you know it is our horse"?
The boy answered, "I didn't know, the horse knew. All I did was keep him on the road."
                                                                                                  The teaching tales of Milton H Erickson           

"I get it now" exclaims Tom "A coaches' role is to guide us on our chosen path and help us to achieve our goals by encouragement, motivation and by helping us to avoid distractions and keep us focused whilst moving towards successful sustainable outcomes"

You've got it, I reply .... You've got it

"Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him"            Aldous Huxley